Assumptions.

Assumptions. How awful are they? How horrible do they make you feel. If you don't know whats really going on or the answer to a question that you need to know you worry over it, you can over analyze and it makes you feel physically sick and emotionally drained. No one wants that.

The main problem about assumptions is being so unsure and feeling all strange and unsettled inside. It's hard to explain the feeling, you don't know whether to be excited, scared, happy, hurt or angry. You just keep on playing little scenarios is your head and planning how things could happen good or bad or what they meant, you go over all the possibilities. But doing that is so unhealthy for you. It's awful to just dwell over things in your mind and never find out the truth. It can happen in so many different types of situations. But why don't we just ask? Yeah it's scary but at least you'll know the truth. If it's an awkward situation if they care about you then nothing will change. But you can't let the stress and worry eat away inside you, it's not right. 

Whether you read it or heard it through someone else or even the person themselves why let it grow into this big thing? Just bite the bullet and ask. You may have read it wrong because when its typed you don't know how the person really meant it the same as with talking it could of just been worded wrong. Don't let it upset you or make you angry just ask what they meant by it. If it's not what you thought and they make sure they say it abit more clearly and it makes sense then that could save so much. If you think they meant worse then it can lead into an argument and you can end up falling out and you don't want that when it can be over nothing. 

The worst thing to do is to let it eat at you that much that you have to argue with the person when all of this  could of been resolved straight the way. Try and be understanding and patient and it will make the whole situation calm and it will get resolved quick and there is no hurt involved. Try and be as calm and understanding as you'd want them to be in a situation like that.

I understand it can be so hard to come forward and ask. I struggle to do that aswell it feels horrible going into the unknown and it can scare you, you don't know what could happen and it's truly terrifying but we need to push ourselves into the unknown, how are we supposed to know the truth and feel at peace inside? 

Assumptions can be horrible but we all make them but it's also up to us to make it all clear.

'Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.' - Miguel Angel Ruiz.

 I found this picture quite entertaining, hope you enjoy it. Don't forget don't make assumptions without having all the facts.

Believe in your own strength.

Believe in yourself. It sounds so easy but it seems so hard when you have no self confidence. It's so hard to feel like you're worthless and don't have the strength to make yourself better.
But for you to go through everything that you have actually makes you one of the strongest people around. If people had to go through some of the things that you may have gone through they would break but you're still here and still going strong. You may have the times when you feel like there is no way out and you just want to give up, but the true strength is getting to that moment and overcoming it.  You may not feel strong but trust me you are! And when you notice how much you've already overcome you'll hopefully start to believe it.

You are worthy of feeling happy and you don't need other people to be happy. You have strengths and weaknesses like everyone else. Play up to your strengths. For example, One of my strengths is dancing, I use that strength to my advantage if I feel uncomfortable I can put up a confident front and if I have my earphones I'll put my music on and I can drown out any uncomfortable feelings. We all know what works for us but we need to believe in ourselves and know that we can be as strong as what we achieve to be. 

You are the best version of you and when you believe that you're untouchable. Don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams and don't let your fears take over! If you're uncomfortable in a situation and you want to get out use your inner strength to say no and leave. You can get up and walk away if you want to. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not good enough or you're weak because you're strong and amazing.

'I'm worthy enough, beautiful enough, and I don't need anything else to feel whole.' - Unknown

Anxiety.

Anxiety. Anxiety can be so horrible, Everyone has it, but it's different for everyone.

To start with what is anxiety? Anxiety is a way your body responds to frightening or threatening things, for example if you are going in for an exam and you worry and think 'Have I remembered everything' 'What if I haven't revised enough' etc.. There is a certain phrase that is used alot to describe these feelings and it is 'Fight or Flight' We can either Fight the anxiety or we can give in and run away from whatever we are anxious about. Admittedly I have chosen the 'Flight' option way to many times, but the trick is to FIGHT it! Once you have done whatever it is bothering you once the anxiety starts to get easier and eventually you'll think what was I even nervous about in the first place.

There are alot of different things that can make anxiety worse and one of them is being anxious about being anxious. It sounds very odd, but when you think about it, how many times have you backed out of doing something because the last time you tried it or did it you got anxious and you don't want to feel that way again? It happens to all of us! I had a panic attack on a bus in 2009 and I didn't want to go back onto a bus but I did and the second time I went on a bus again I had another one and so I didn't get on a bus again until last year when I had no choice but to get on one luckily I was with my mum and I was so nervous and anxious I had sweaty palms and I couldn't keep still and mum managed to calm me down enough to actually get me on the bus. After that the next time I got on one I was with my mum again and it wasn't as bad as the first one I was still sweaty and couldn't keep still but I did it. Even to this day I still get so so nervous even thinking about getting on a bus but I push myself because it's only me that's standing in my way.

In 'Medical' terms there is a cycle that you may go through I know that I go through it this is it.

1. Feel Body Symptoms: Heart Pounding, Sweating, Breathing Speeds Up
2. Thoughts: 'Something awful is going to happen' 'What if I have a panic attack' 'What if I get lost'
3. Feel Anxious
4. Thoughts: 'Now I'm really in danger' 'I'm alone, something is going to happen'
5. Repeat.

Sound familiar to any of you? It's natural that if you go through this you start to avoid things just like how I did and it's not the best thing in the world to feel like you can't do things like 'normal' people. And I say 'normal' because if you go through it you'll understand exactly what I mean. You don't feel normal at all you feel like there is something so wrong with you just because you can't do things that other people find easy and don't think twice about. Things like simply going to the corner shop for some sweets or pop or anything. I struggle to go to the shop so much. Yet it's about 20 seconds from my house and as I'm walking I get so paranoid I feel like every one is staring at me I feel uncomfortable and then I start to get sweaty palms and I have to constantly look at my phone so that I'm distracted.
Anxiety can come in all different forms.

Feelings.
Nervous, Worried, Frightened, Tense, Stressed, On edge, Unsettled, Strange, Detached, Panicky, Light Headed and You can be predicting that bad things are going to happen.

How You Think.

Worrying, Can't Concentrate, Thoughts racing through your mind, Imagining the worst possible outcome, Thinking about just the bad things that can happen and when your mind jumps from one bad thought to another.

Common Thoughts.

I've got to get away, Let me out of here, How can I get out, Where are the nearest exits, Where are the nearest toilets incase I'm going to be sick, I'm going to be sick, I'm going to pass out, What if I hurt myself when I pass out, People are going to look at me, What if I end up in hospital, Is there something wrong with me, What if people laugh at me and think I'm strange.

Effects on the Body.

Sweating, Breathing changes, Light Headed, Stomach flipping, Tingling or numbness in fingers and toes, Chest Pains, Heart racing, Having to go to the toilet, Tense muscles, Body aches, Feeling restless or feeling to sick to move.

Your Actions.

Pacing, Irritable behaviour, Snapping at people, Can't keep still, Talk quickly or talking really slow, Sit still staring, Eat more than usual or less than usual and to avoid whatever is making you feel this way.

Everyone has anxiety but it's different for everyone. If you feel like these things describe you perfectly then you have high anxiety. It's nothing to worry about alot of people suffer with it. All you need to do know is find ways of coping and dealing with it. Everyone finds different things helpful. The best way to try and tackle your anxiety is by doing abit of research on it. There are ALOT of helpful websites that you can go onto if you don't want to go to the doctors about it but I would suggest going to the doctors.
Here are a few Helpful options for you:

Anxiety Care
Helpline: 02084783400

Telephone: 02082628891

www.anxietycare.org.uk

This service provides help and support for those suffering with Anxiety.

Anxiety UK

Telephone: 08444775774

www.anxietyuk.org.uk

Provides Information and support for those suffering from anxiety disorders.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)

Telephone: 01455883316

www.bacp.co.uk

Offers an information service providing contacts for counselling n England and Wales.

First Steps to Freedom

Helpline: 08451202916

Telephone: 08458410619

www.first-steps.org

Provides Helpline and resources for those suffering from anxiety.

Mental Health Matters

Telephone: 01915163500

www.mentalhealthmatters.com

Provides support and information on Employment, Housing, Community Support and Psychological Services.

Mind Infoline

Telephone: 08457660163

www.mind.org.uk

Provides Information on a range of different topics including Mental Distress, Where to get help, Drug and Alternative treatments and Advocacy.

No Panic

Freephone: 08088080545

www.nopanic.org.uk

Support for sufferers of panic attacks, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) general anxiety disorder and tranquilizer withdrawal.

Rethink

Helpline: 08454560455

www.rethink.org

Provides Information and a helpline for anyone affected by mental health probelms.

Triumph over Phobia

Telephone: 08456009601

www.topuk.org

Provides national network of self help groups for people with phobias or OCD.

 These may be just in the UK I'm not 100% sure but you can always check the websites out! 

Family and Close Friends.

Family. Family is a strange thing. We all have a family whether we talk to them or not. 

My family life isn't exactly the best. I don't talk to my dad, If my auntie comes near me and even speaks to me then I have to call the police therefore my cousins don't talk to me. My other Auntie and Uncle and one of my cousins live in France and My other cousin lives elsewhere. I never got to meet my grandparents on my mothers side but I knew them on my fathers side. Unfortunately my grandma passed away. Also my great nanna passed away who I was also close to.

The only relatives that I talk to and see are my Mum and my Grandad. Luckily for me though I have a great relationship with them. 

My Mum is literally my rock. She helps me out with EVERYTHING! I wouldn't even be able to get through my day without her! Thankfully my mum understands everything. She know's when I'm feeling down or stressed or anxious and she does things to help me out.

Personally I wouldn't be able to get through alot of things without my mum she understands me more than I could ever imagine. She can tell how I'm feeling with something as simple as the tone of my voice or the way I'm sitting.

If you aren't lucky enough to have someone so close to you that understands you like how I do with my mum you could also be like this with a close friend or even a stranger that could turn into a close friend.  You don't have to go through things alone and you shouldn't  have to either. Believe it or not but most people just want you to be okay and want to see you get better. There are always some people that try to knock you down, but you are stronger than that and that's why they try! You are a fighter and they know that and they don't like the fact that you are stronger than them. Don't ever give up on trying to get better! The people that care will always try and help you through things. You don't have to give in! People that love you, love you for you! They want to be there for you so be there them too it'll make you feel happier inside and give you both a stronger bond. If it's with a family member it'll make things at home much much easier and more comfortable!

'You can't resolve other people's issues, but you can sit with them and share the burden of their pain, thereby lightening it.' - Yehuda Berg.

An Inside On Char.

Hey, so I was thinking and why would you take advice from someone you know nothing about? I mean what if I haven't been through any of what I'm writing about? So here is a little insight of me.

I'm Charlotte.
Age: 18
Hair Colour: I am naturally Blonde but I know am Brunette.

Eye Colour: Brown Eyes.

Height: 4ft11
Favourite Colour: Orange.

Blah blah blah... more pointless stuff:')

Basically I am a teenage girl that is tiny. When I was younger I got bullied so so so much just because of my height. I was always smaller than the other people in my school but it never used to bother me. I then started to get names yelled at me like 'midget' 'dwarf' 'titch' and a few more now these names don't seem bad, but when they get yelled at you like 60 times in one day it starts to get a little hurtful and then you start to notice that you're a different size by alot. Now I'm not a 'midget' or a 'dwarf' i am infact just small. As weeks went on some of the older kids in my school would push me around and laugh at me they would push me down and tell me to get in a plant pot and grow. I'd come home from school covered in cuts and bruises etc. but I never said why I'd just say oh I fell over in the playground. I don't want anyone to see that I'm weak so I just left it and let it carry on.
I can remember one day in the school holidays I was riding my scooter up and down the path outside my house and some of the older kids that were in my middle school rode past me pushed me off my scooter and then two off the older boys held me on the floor while the other rode over my arms with his bike he did this a few times. Obviously I was screaming and crying my eyes out and my parents heard me and came out to see if I had fell off, when they seen the boys they started to run up the path and the boys rode off. They got away and I couldn't remember what they looked like because I was in so much pain.

Luckily after that the pushing and stuff eventually stopped but the name calling carried on but I tried to not let it get to me as much.
After this I wasn't too bad for a few years. Things weren't fantastic at home but it wasn't really anything to overwhelming. 

After a few years went by things started to get bad between me and my dad, we would argue and he would blame things on me and we ended up not really speaking. Things got so bad he actually would tell me that I was a mistake, he wishes that I wasn't born, I made his life hell and that he HATED me. So from then I always had my back up with him. Me and my dad never really bonded but I always assumed he loved me, but I guess any child would. But as he said them words nothing was the same. I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore and I could tell that he didn't love me just like he said. So as the weeks went on we didn't talk and things just got awkward. Everytime we spoke it wouldn't be talking it'd be shouting. In the end we didn't talk and things weren't good between him and mum either so after years of all this mum decided that she no longer wanted to be married to him so she asked for a divorce. Dad then turned this round to me and told me that it was my fault and I came inbetween their marriage and when mum leaves he then wants nothing to do with me. Obviously this was hard to hear. Yeah we didn't get on but you still want acceptance and love from your family members and I wanted nothing more than for my dad to want me and love me because I loved him an awful lot and infact I still do despite how he is with me. 

Another big set back for me was my auntie. She was fine with me through everything. She was a little on a weird side but isn't everyone? Well that's what I thought until one night when she turned up at my house and attacked my mum. I witnessed it all and it was one the scariest things I've ever witnessed. Once that night was over her attention turned to me and she started threatening me telling my friends to warn me that I needed to watch my back or else she would get me and i started to get death threats and other things which scared me so much. Even though the police got involved it still scares me to this day, I still have nightmares and get paranoid as I walk by myself its hard. The police officer really helped me through it though she was amazing. 

While all this was going on I started to get really anxious. I wouldn't know that I was being anxious and infact even right up to this point I can't ever really tell when my anxiety is there. It started off with me just feeling sick, then it turned into me being sick. This one just stayed for a long time then it turned into me feeling really light headed and dizzy, I would then pass out and be unconscious.While I was unconscious I would then have a fit where my mouth would froth and sometimes i'd get a nosebleed aswell. I was under investigation for epilepsy for about 2 years which involved so many tests and they never found anything but it was because there was nothing there. It was all down to my anxiety. At first I had NO idea what it meant. When they say 'Mental Health' to you it's scary. When you know nothing about it you just panic, I thought am I crazy? Is there something really wrong with me? Why do I have to go through this? Is it just me that feels this way? It's so confusing. Once all this was going on I started to get a little sad. I felt numb some days, other days I couldn't stop crying and finally it got to the point where I noticed something wasn't right I didn't know what it was but I knew it was something. I wasn't myself and I finally plucked up the courage to tell mum how I was feeling and that's when she took me to the doctors and told them she thought I might have depression. They made me fill in a few forms and spoke to me then they asked me to go see a counsellor. When I finally figured out what it was all about, why I was feeling the way I was it calmed me abit. When it came time for my first counselling session I panicked so so so much I had to take sick bags in with me I was shaking it was hard. 

After all this I'm starting to get better. Very slowly and it's very hard but I'm getting there. I'm not better right now but it takes time.