Over Thinking

Lately I've been over thinking E V E R Y T H I N G-.- I hate it so much and I wish I could just snap out of it but I just can't :( I've been like this for most of my life. It's natural to over think a couple of things but when you mix anxiety problems in with the mix it can be deadly. 

If you go through this you'll probably understand but every little thing that could possibly happen I think of. If I'm walking into town to go to a shop to get something then I over think every little thing and make myself feel like rubbish before having to leave. For example say if I was going into town my mind would do this:

What If I forget my purse.
What if my bags too heavy and makes my back worse.
What If I'm sick.
Do I have a sick bag?
How many sick bags do I need.
What if a sick bag has a hole in it when I'm being sick.
What if I can't get a bag out in time.
What If I'm sick in the street.
People are gonna laugh and stare at me.
What if I am sick on the floor what do I do?
People are going to think I'm disgusting.
What If I pass out?
What if I pass out and knock myself out.

That's all just before I leave the house let alone when I'm walking. People don't understand how hard it can be to even leave the house and meet people when you have bad anxiety. I got so bad before that I couldn't leave my house because I was too scared that something bad would happen. I know how hard it is and for those people who I have managed to leave the house to see best feel privileged because it is so hard and its physically and emotionally exhausting trying to build the courage up to go outside.

If you are going through this yourself and you feel trapped and alone don't worry. It does get a little easier to empty your head. It's took me a long time to do it but don't give up because I couldn't leave the house before and now I can. I know I still have alot of thoughts running through my head but I am leaving the house. Sometimes I can't quite make it out but other times I do. If I ever have to go out by myself I put my earphones in and listen to music and think about dance routines or out on some midnight beast and the thong song to make me laugh and cheer me up. It sounds silly but these little distractions are amazing.

If I start to feel a little scared, paranoid or anxious then i simply just just tap my thumb with my index finger or middle finger and If I really need to snap out of the situation I will tap with my nail but I don't do it hard enough to hurt myself its just simply a distraction. Different things work for different people so just try and find a way for you to do it and it'll take a little pressure off.

It's extremely terrifying and it feels like you wont ever get out of it but it just takes time but you'll get there. I'll be there going through it with you every step of the way too. We can all get through this and we can all do it together.

If you ever need someone to help encourage you just personal message me on twitter- @Char_Louise_H

Take the bad with the good.

So as I've previously said I'm having abit of a hard time right now. I'm currently still not motivated and I feel numb still.. BUT.. Things are starting to get a little better, I'm still really struggling but I don't feel awful all the time I'm trying my hardest to be positive in situations. As we all know being staying positive can be so hard when you feel like there is no positives in the situation but we have to try and be a little optimistic. 

I keep telling myself one thing that you might want to tell yourselves. Things are hard right now, But its okay. It could be worse and it could be better. You're absolutely fine. The odds are in your favour. Sometimes you might have a bad day but you'll have more good than bad. If you're having a really bad day then its because you're about to have an amazing day. You're stronger than anything that's hurting you. You're one of the strongest people to have to go through all this and you should be proud of yourself for not giving up. You may feel like crap right now but lets not think about that and instead lets think of all the beautiful things around you.

We are strong and we're amazing. That is why we have these bad bits, If we didn't have them we'd be able to conquer the world and other forces don't want that so they have to try and slow us down a little. 



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - On another note - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



It's my BIRTHDAY next Monday :D 

It's going to be a day of cuddles with my mum and dancing. It's so lovely to be surrounded by people that mean the world to you on a special day like that and luckily for me I have my amazing mother who has booked it off work so I can have a happy day and be with her:) It's upsetting that I won't see my dad or other members of my family but why should I let that bother me? I'm happy with my mum and grandad and that's all that matters:) My grandad is a very lovely man who I know will always be there for me and  my mum is the strongest most amazing woman I know and I'm lucky to have both of these amazing people. Then in the evening I get to see some of my closest friends and have a hug and laugh and dance with them then I get to be back with my mum and watch movies. 

I hope you all have a lovely week and just remember, stay calm. If you feel uncomfortable take your mind somewhere else. Look around at all the beauty in the world. Don't focus on all the negatives. Try and find the beauty in everything.





If you feel like you're alone and need someone to talk to then please feel free to contact me! I'm always here for anyone.

Twitter-   @char_louise_h

Email-  chaar.louise7@icloud.com

I pinky promise you all things will get better. It just takes time and we need to be patient. Including me:) Love you all!